HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT JULIE!

Jus a little card I made for Annie's Godmother's birthday...  thought I'd share it on here :)

Annie: "Mirror mirror show me the way.
Tell me why it's a special day...
Mirror:  It's Aunt Julie's Birthday!"

Annie: "I bet you can't find Aunt Julie a gift before I can."
Chloe:  "Challenge accepted."

 

Annie:  "I'm gonna give her this ball!"
Chloe: "No! I'm gonna give her this rope toy!"

Chelsea:  "Really you guys?  Aunt Julie doesn't want a dog toy..."

Annie:  "HA!  I don't care. I win!  I'm giving her both!"

Annie, Chelsea, & Chloe:  "Happy birthday Aunt Julie!!!  We love you!!!"

Some time later....

Annie: "Ah, I'm so tired after all that winning this morning."
Chloe: "You suck."

Chloe:  "I let her win...."

 

An Update [Finally]

My goodness, how could I have let so much time pass since my last update?  My apologies for not posting sooner.  To say we've been busy is an understatement.


After losing Charlotte, it took me some time before I could even come back and look at this site.  All the photos and the stories were a bit much in the beginning.  But now, I'm able to look back and smile thinking about some of the wonderful times we've had with her.  It is getting easier, as life gets busier and distracts me, but I still think of her often and hope she's loving her new home in Heaven as much as we're missing her here.

Here is a photo collage I made for my background on my computer.  It's a photo of each of my girls with their "happy" faces.   Nothing makes me happier than to see their three faces like this, knowing I'm responsible for it. :)

Chelsea update:

Chelsea has morphed into the perfect dog.  Honestly, I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful she has become.  Yes, she still has her moments of fear where a sound will scare her or sudden movement will startle her and she'll jump and run away and hide.  But now instead of running away completely she'll jump, run and then stop and turn around as if to say "Oh man, that scared me.  Is is safe to come back?"  And then she always does.

My favorite part about Chelsea is her fear of thunder.  I know I shouldn't be enabling and encouraging her fears because it isn't good for her, but there is something sweet about when I hear a rumble of thunder and not but a few seconds later she comes running to me and cuddles up into my side because it scares her.   It makes me so happy to know she went from running away from me to running to me.

She is also excellent with people now.  Whenever we go out she goes up to people, sniffs them, lets them bend down and pet her.  When people come to visit she comes over and checks them out and within a few hours she's their best friend.  She'll sit next to them and cuddle up with them.  Her new thing is she asks for attention.  She'll come to you and paw at your hand asking for you to pet her and when you give in she'll roll on her back to tell you to rub her tummy, her sweet spot. :)

Every morning I wake up to Chelsea and Chloe's little faces at the side of my bed.  I reach down and put my arm out and their tails wag and Chloe pushes herself under my hand and Chelsea paws at me, both attempting to earn some pets and affection from me.  Then if I don't get out of bed Chelsea starts bouncing around and barking to let me know she wants me to get up and take her out.   She's really learned how to adjust to being someone's pet and not some wild dog.

Here is a video I took one morning of this little routine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJjBGvgErf4


I took her to visit my aunt and uncle a few months ago, and she was excellent with my cousins.  She cuddled up with my three year old cousin Kathryn, and my two year old cousin Patrick.  They adore Chelsea and Chloe and I was pleased that Chelsea had graduated from "scarredy cat" to "excellent babysitter."

Chloe did a good job too... which surprised me because Chloe has become much less of a people person.  She sticks to me, Rob and Chelsea like glue.  Whereas she used to love attention from strangers, now she's leery of them.

Chloe is doing excellent right now.   She does need to lose some weight though.  All those treats everyone feeds her because she is so cute, have caused her to be two pounds overweight.  So now we're trying to get her down to five pounds with diet and exercise.

We found out she has a condition called Patellar Luxation, which is basically a slipped knee cap.  It is common in small breeds, especially Chihuahuas.  We noticed it all of a sudden when she was running after one of her toys and then her leg locked up and she started yelping.  We panicked, of course, and took her to the vet where they told us what happened.  She'll need surgery at some point (which will set us back about $1,200... gulp) but if left untreated she'll end up with lots of pain and arthritis so we don't have much of an option.  She is so young and deserves to have a long life of running around so it's a small price to pay to see her happy, healthy, and living a normal life for a puppy.  So that's next on the agenda and will probably happen early next year.   

Chloe has also been keeping busy making new friends.  Since I work from home I get a lot of packages to the house, and the UPS lady comes at least once a week to drop something off.  Well Chloe would normally stand at the top of the steps and bark her head off when she heard the knock on the door.  The UPS lady kept commenting on Chloe being loud, and upset, and how funny she sounded.  But one day she said "she sounds so ferocious today!"   The idea of my seven pound dog being a threat to the UPS lady had me giggling.  So I told her to wait there and I went up and got Chloe.  The minute the UPS lady saw her she couldn't stop the baby talk.  And Chloe, who was on high alert and ready to attack just minutes before, was now reaching out for the lady and giving her kisses (some guard dog right?).  Well from then on, Gina (the UPS lady) and Chloe have become best friends.  Gina even brings her dog treats (which I have to split up and give Chelsea most of since Chloe is on a diet).   It's very sweet and I really think it's the highlight of Gina's day because she never rushes back to her work, she always stays long enough for Chloe to come and greet her and pet her for a little bit.    It makes me feel good that Chloe can make someone else's day happy just with a wag of the tail and a ton of kisses. :)

Anyway, I'll be writing again soon, but I'll leave you with some photos of the girls, as always. 

Here is a random but cute photo, of the two of them during Tropical Storm Debby.  We were getting pounded with rain, wind and thunder storms and the girls were terrified.  I found them cuddling on the couch in fear, holding each other.  I couldn't help but snap a photo before I went to comfort them.

And here is me with my babies at the dog beach on Honeymoon Island (FL).  As much as they hate the water- and they really hate the water-  they still follow us in because they'd rather be close to us.

Here is a photo of Chloe and her new cousin, Tico.  My brother Jeremy adopted a dog now that he is living in his own apartment in Gainesville, FL for grad school.   Tico is a Chihuahua as well and he and Chloe adore each other!  Chloe is like his little shadow and even after only knowing him for a day, she was depressed when he had to go back to his new home with her "Uncle Jeremy".

Stare down can mean only one thing.... it's play time! :)

Don't let these two fool you, they have an excellent life. :)

One Last Sad Post. I Promise!

I intended to write this blog as a happy update.  But as I got to writing a bunch of feelings sort of spilled out.  I apologize in advance and promise, the next post will be full of happy things.

Well, we needed some time to decompress after loosing Charlotte and my grandfather (Papa).  It's been tough, and every day it goes back and forth from being shocked that either of them is actually gone, to being in denial, to being angry or devastated, and the cycle repeats constantly.

I often look at photos of the two of them and wonder what their up to in heaven.  Wonder if they are taking walks together.   I had a lovely dream on my birthday that we were celebrating at my parent's house and in every picture we took in the background was Papa with Charlotte and Sandy (my childhood dog who passed away when I was 13).   Charlotte wasn't blind anymore and looked so happy and young.  In fact, they all did.  It was a wonderful birthday dream that I am sure my Papa sent to me to let me know the three of them are okay together.

Photo of Sandy and me on our first Christmas.. she and I grew up together. :)

Papa and Sandy.. always the prankster!

Papa taking Sandy and me for a ride around the drive way.

How I wish I could crawl back in time, climb up on his lap and hug him again...

It's hard to live 1200 miles away from my family, because sometimes I forget he is gone.  It's not like when I was a kid and would take the 3 minute drive over to his house and see him.  For me, it doesn't always sink in until I want to call him and tell him something and realize he isn't there anymore.

It's more real with Charlotte.  I have sort of gotten used to her not being here anymore, but every once in a while I'll miss her walking under my feet in the kitchen when I'm cooking.  Or I remember when I look over at her dog bed (the one she passed away in- that I haven't had the heart to wash and still sits next to our bed as if she is still sleeping in it).  It's just little things that remind me she is gone.  

I know it will get easier as time goes on, and I'll never officially get over it all, but for now I just try to keep their memory alive through photos and stories, and if I'm lucky, an occasional dream too.

Before You Start Shopping, Consider Adopting!!

A Poem For Charlotte
By Kira Solomon

I can't imagine the life you had before me

And honestly I don't want to know.

All I knew was how much you adored me

And how hard it was to let you go.

From the first day you walked into our lives

Our world had forever been changed

To the saddest day where we said our goodbyes.

When I knew life would never be the same.

The joy you brought us was immeasurable

The pain you left us with was vast

The memories of you are not suppressible

No matter how much time will pass

If I could take anything back I don't think I would

I would only hope for more time

For the life we gave you was more than good

And you will always be in Daddy's heart, and mine.

One word of advice to those of you out there

Who are searching for the perfect pet

Trust me, there is an animal in shelter care

That will be the best friend you've had yet.

There is no greater joy in the world than knowing you gave a dog a second chance at life, and then gave them a wonderful one at that.  Before you start shopping, consider adopting!! 

Saying Goodbye To Charlotte

Today, April 4th, 2012, we had to say goodbye to our beloved Charlotte. Our first pet together.  Our first baby.


For those who don't know the background story:  we adopted Charlotte when we lived in NYC, back in 2006.  She was 8 years old at the time.  I wanted a dog and Rob wasn't too sure about all of the responsibilities of having a dog, but I pushed for it (in my typical fashion) and arranged for the rescue group to bring her to our apartment so we could see her in person.   I sat by the window for an hour waiting and finally a yellow cab pulled up in front of the building and out pops a woman with a small 6lb all black dog with pointed ears and the sweetest little bug eyes I'd ever seen.  We invited them in, and Charlotte (as the rescue group had named her) pranced around sniffing every inch of the apartment.  Finally, after a few minutes of exploring she decided this would be her new home and to show her gratitude, she squatted and peed on the floor.  I looked at Rob, worried that he would say "No way- get her out of here"  But instead he smiled at Charlotte and the nice little puddle next to her and said "I'll get my check book..."   As for me, I went to get something to clean the mess with.   After we gave the nice lady the check and she said her goodbyes and left, the gravity of it all set in.  We have a dog now...  but wait..  we didn't have bowls, toys, or even dog food.  So Rob got her a bowl of water while I rand to the local RiteAid and stocked up on food, treats, toys, a leash, etc.  What proud parents we were that day.

She lived 7 years with us- through a break up, a marriage, 2 moves to 2 different states, road trips, and more.   At the age of 10 she began to lose her sight and at 12 she was fully blind.  But that never stopped her.  In the past year we found out that she has been suffering from Cushing's Disease [see previous post about this].  We're unsure how long she had it before we diagnosed her.  We knew the treatment would be rough for her, so we opted to let her live out the remainder of her life happily and when we noticed she was in pain or the disease was taking a toll on her, we'd let her go humanely.

For the past few weeks we've noticed her deteriorating [see previous post about this].  We discussed our options, and I called around to the vet(s) and humane society to get an idea of pricing and what happens after she is gone.  Rob wanted her to pass at home, hoping she would just go to sleep and not wake up, but I was more concerned that she'd have a heart attack or it would be painful for her when she passed.  So finally, we compromised and decided on having her put to sleep at home when the time came.

We found a wonderful woman, Dr. Burrell, from of Gentle Pet Passings, LLC.  She comes to the house, gives you time and space to say your goodbyes, then will put your pet down and will allow you as much time as you need after it is done.  Then she takes the pet with her and brings the ashes back to you a few days later.  We thought this would be the best way to go.  The last thing we wanted is Charlotte to spend her last few breaths at a place she hated to go to- the vet.  And I was already dreading the walk back to the car with just her collar and leash in hand.

At first, Rob and I were at odds about having her cremated.  I didn't see the sense in spending the money to have her ashes retuned to us.  But when I called the vet to find out the pricing, I though to ask what would happen to her body if we didn't claim it.  The receptionist told me, in the nicest way he could, that she would be picked up by the same company who picks the euthanized dogs up from the pound.  I immediately began to cry.  All I could think about was how 7 years ago we saved her from that fate of being put down and thrown away with no one to claim her, and how could we give her such an amazing life and then let it end the same way?  I wouldn't be able to live with myself.  So I decided forking over a couple hundred dollars and giving her a proper goodbye was the best way for us to cope with this loss too.  So we arranged it all with Dr. Burrell and set up a tentative "appointment" for her to come to our home on Friday, April 6th- exactly 1 month to the day of my grandfather's passing, 4 weeks to the day from his viewing, and on Good Friday no less.

However, after a few sleepless nights of worrying as she grew sicker and sicker, we decided she was suffering too much and called for Dr. Burrell.   She came into our home tonight and allowed us to say our goodbyes and put Charlotte to sleep in one of her favorite spots- laying on our balcony.  Just as the sun was setting.

This past month has been very hard for our family.  My mother lost her father, my father lost his uncle, and now we've lost our Charlotte.  It's said that "God will never give you more than you can handle" but I'm having a hard time figuring out if he's grossly overestimated my abilities...  I'm just hoping that as terrible as this year has started out for us all, that it will only get better from here.

As a memorial, I've created this video of photos for her.  The song playing in the background is "Smile", and I am singing it.  I used to sing this to her when she was sick, or hurt, or just needed some help relaxing and falling asleep, and it would always sooth her.  I though it would be fitting for this video so I recorded myself singing it to her one last time...

"Happy" 2012.

I wish I could say "Happy 2012", but there isn't anything happy about this year for us so far.

You may remember from my last post "Charlotte's  Diagnosis" that Charlotte has something called Cushing's Disease.  It's very hard to diagnose and is diagnosed often too late in most cases.    Originally, we tried holistic treatments, as spending thousands of dollars on treatment for a 15 year old dog was just not a sensible option for us.   We used Cushex drops by PetAlive.   For the most part, they seemed to be working.  After about a week she seemed happier, healthier, and she wasn't showing the typical symptoms of Cushing's (bloating, frequent eating, drinking, and urinating, etc).  We were very hopeful.  But the truth is, this was just a mask.  The underlying problem was still there and was not officially being treated.

In the past 2 weeks I've noticed she has lost a lot of weight.  She went from having that big pot bellied look (like a pig) to looking more like Chelsea now- very lean and almost boney.  Her hair is starting to thin out much more (her tail almost looks like a rats tail now from losing so much hair).  She sleeps a lot more than she used to.  I'm noticing that her appetite isn't what it used to be either, which is saying a lot for Charlotte.  She won't touch the dog food, but will scarf down a bowl of rice and even eat Asparagus (something she didn't even like to sniff a few months ago).   She also has constant diarrhea and when she walks she looks funny because her back legs are very stiff.  She also shakes a lot.  Not sure if she is cold or in pain though.

Last night we had a "scare".  I fed her some rice trying to get her to eat something that may help her tummy.  Well, she ate it so fast that she looked like she started choking or something.  Then after about 30 seconds she just fell over and I started freaking out.  A few seconds later she got up, started sniffing around and eating more food.  I thought maybe she was having a seizure or something but it could have just been excitement (both Chloe and Charlotte do this weird thing when they get excited- their body stiffens and they look like they are going to vomit but they begin making this "honking" noise.  It's strange...).   Well, from there she just went about her usual business eating, drinking, bathroom, sleep.   She has been fine since (except for vomiting the completely undigested 2 day old asparagus and one day old rice, which I find strange).   My grandmother made a comment that maybe she had a stroke.  When I looked into it more I read that a stroke is very common for dogs with Cushing's.   It's another sign of the "end stages".

My grandfather passed away on March 6th.  His symptoms in the last few months of his life were eerily similar to Charlotte's.   We still have no official diagnosis on what my grandfather had, and no autopsy was done, but from what we watched him suffer through I know one thing- I don't want to put Charlotte through any unnecessary suffering.  We know that in the end she will suffer as we've been told the end stages of Cushing's often result in seizures, stokes, heart attacks, and/or internal bleeding.   The question is how many or which one will finally result in death.  Sadly, with this disease there won't be any peaceful passings in the middle of the night.   We know what we have to do... we're just trying to muster up the strength to do it. 

Here are some of my favorite photos of Char-Char when she was healthy & happy.

Charlotte's Diagnosis

For a while now we've noticed Charlotte becoming increasingly hungry, thirsty and tired.  As most people would, we equated this to old age.   At 14 she isn't very active anymore, so we figured the hunger and thirst was normal and her lethargic behavior was simply her being an "old lady" now.

A few months ago a sty grew on her eyelid.  The vet said if it wasn't causing her discomfort and wasn't infected, it would be fine.  We watched it and it didn't bother her at all, so we let it be instead of opting for the expensive surgery to remove it.  Fast forward a few months to today - we're at PetSmart getting all the girls' nails clipped.  Charlotte is waiting "patiently" in the cart for her turn and they inform us they can't clip her nails because her rabies vaccination has expired.   It isn't recommend that senior dogs continue getting rabies vaccinations because it isn't good for them if they have underlying medical issues you may not know about.   So since I refused to give her an unnecessary and potentially harmful vaccination, they suggested I take her to their on site vet to have them clip her nails instead.  So we walked her over to them.   Around this time, while I was checking her in, Rob noticed the sty on her eye was bleeding and there was pus coming out.  So we asked if the vet could check that out too.

After some work on the sty (which was infected) he gave us some antibiotics for her to get rid of the infection.  He then looked her over and asked if she was always this bloated.  We had grown accustomed to Charlotte getting larger.  When we adopted her she was 6 lbs and sick.  By the end of that year she weighed around 14 lbs.  Now, when weighed at the vet she was 18 lbs.  We knew she was over weight and she seemed to have a pot belly, which we thought had to do with all the eating and drinking she was doing.

He felt her abdomen and listened to her heart and then recommend we do blood work.   He thought she may be suffering from Canine Cushing's Disease, something we had never heard of before.   We were worried, but I had a feeling it was for the best and we okayed it.  We have long known in the back of our heads that Charlotte isn't young anymore and something was going on with her, we just didn't want to face it.  This was God's way of saying we needed to face it and accept it.

We went home, with the promise from the Vet that they'd call us in an hour with results.  I immediately went home and started researching the disease.    Charlotte had all the symptoms.

-Excessive eating and drinking
-Excessive urination and deification (sometimes in the house due to lack of being able to hold it for long)
-Heavy panting
-Loss of hair
-Pot belly / bloating
-Lethargic
-Weaker muscles, especially in back legs
-Crusty skin and skin lumps
-Pacing a lot and unable to get comfortable

Every one of the symptoms, she had.  In fact, for months now she'd been keeping me up at night because at least once a night (usually around 3am) she would need to go to the bathroom and would normally not wake me up in time and would go on the floor.  Then she'd be whining for water and I'd have to fill her bowl.  Looking back, I realized I've had more nights where she has woken me to go potty or get water than I have had sleepless nights.  All this time I was so angry at her thinking she didn't need the water, but maybe this was part of a disease, something she couldn't help.

Sure enough, the Vet called us an hour later with the news.  She has Cushing's Disease and our option was to pay $700 for an ultrasound and other tests to see which gland it was coming from so they can put her on medication (which would cost at least $1,000 for a years worth of meds).   As heart breaking as the thought was, we decided against medication and further testing.  After reading up on it we saw that the medication would make her sick (vomiting and diarrhea), and would do nothing but prolong her life and possibly make her more miserable.  At 14 years old, we felt it was best to let her live as she is, as long as she wasn't in any pain.   She still seems happy.  Her tail wags to go outside, she lays in the sun to get warm, she gets excited and barks and jumps (or tries to at least) when daddy comes home.  We decided that when she was ready to go, she'd show us.

The disease seems pretty depressing. It is caused by an increase of the hormone called Cortisol, produced by the pituitary and/or adrenal glands due to a tumor in the gland. The tumor may be benign, but either way it causes the glands to overproduce the hormone that in return wreaks havoc on her entire body. It causes all the symptoms she is showing, plus it is puts damage on her organs. It's normally a good hormone, but when overproduced it causes everything from skeletomuscular problems, skin/hair problems to organ failure (specifically liver and kidney). Right now, her ALKP enzyme count is at 739 (the norm is around 212) and her ALT enzyme count is at 352 (the norm is around 200). This increase shows the disease is essentially killing the cells in her liver and she will most likely die from liver failure. The is also even a chance that before her liver fails she could have kidney or heart failure.

From what we've read online, she is closer to the end stages of the disease, and may not have much more time with us.  There is a chance she has had this for the past year or maybe even longer.  The vet explained most of the dogs with this disease go undiagnosed for a long period of time because this is common in older dogs and all the symptoms are what most people assume is just their dog aging normally.  That helped me feel a little better, because at first I was upset at myself for not taking her in sooner and thinking she was just being a typical old dog.

Either way, Charlotte seems fine right now.  After the vet she laid down in the car and took a nap.  She naps a lot, which is because of the disease.  Chloe and Chelsea were laying next to her, laying as close to her as possible.  I think they sense it.  I've noticed they sniff her a lot more, and cuddle closer to her than normally.  She also doesn't seem to mind their presence next to her.  I wonder if it is comforting for her?  I think having the other two girls was the best decision we made.  At first we worried how Charlotte would feel, not being the only dog anymore.  We were afraid she wouldn't get a long with them or they'd bother and annoy her.  But now, it seems like in her final days, they will be a comfort to her and to us too.

God really has blessed us with Charlotte.  From the day I said "Can we get a dog?", to the day she pranced into our lives and peed on our floor - the very moment Rob said "I'll get my check book" to the Robyn the woman who adopted her to us.  She has been the best dog we could ask for.

I know this will be especially hard for Rob.  She is the first dog he has ever had, and he is very attached to his little princess.  It will definitely be hard for me, but now having a diagnosis and knowing what is coming, I am planning for the final days and trying to make sure everything is in order so we can make her last moments with us peaceful for everyone.  I am also working on arrangements for after her passing.  All things I feel that if I plan ahead for we won't have to worry about later and can spend that time together with her.

I am just trying to be strong for me, for Rob, for Charlotte and the girls - like any mother would.  I may not have made them and they may have four legs... but they are my babies and I am their mother and I love them with all my heart - even once I have children of my own.

This is the girls in the car today cuddling with Charlotte on the way home from PetSmart.